Zoo rules

Zoo rules.Hello annoying kids who watch us every day. If you are to continue to watch us we have to lay down some new rules. So listen up if you want to stay here.
One: Do not throw food at us, its really annoying, if we wanted food we would ask for it, ok? We have our own food given to us and the zoo keepers don’t like it when you throw food at us. It can make us sick and it costs money to heal us.
Two: Do not make annoying noises, it makes us want to knock you out to shut you up, save it for later or do it to people who care. We certainly do not care about what you try to do to talk to us it wont work, we were not made to talk.
Three: Please do not take flash photo’s its just stupid since you take them in the middle of the day which doesn’t help what so ever. Also it hurts our eyes a lot, I got a friend next door who is blind now because of it. Yet you still take them! So stop!
Four: do not stick your body parts in our cages and caves some of us just want to be away from you. Go do it to some other animal like the cheetah, im sure he will be glad to shake your hand. And one last thing, your hands smell disgusting.... go wash those things!
Five: quit throwing trash at us! It mess’s up our homes and the garbage rots and then it has to be cleaned up. You can throw all your garbage at the trash can exhibit, im sure they will take it happily.
Six: Please do not spit at us. It is gross and it annoys us. Go spit at your parents and see what happens. We do NOT like it at all.
Seven: Do not scream at us, it hurts our ears which are more sensitive then yours. It also annoys us like the noises you make. We ask that you stop. Other then that everything else is fine and you can enjoy your stay.